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Welcome to Charlie's Beloved Hearts Memorial

Charlie's Beloved Hearts Memorial

Memories of Charlie

Nothing is shared now,
the emptiness erased all words

Midsummer has been having special meaning since ancient times. In many countries bonfires are still lit and people are celebrating life as a reminder that everything on this earth is with reason and only temporary. On this longest day, light triumphs for a while, and yet at the same time it already begins its decline into the darkness, warning us we should never forget how precious each hour, each day, each season and each living being is. This day is also symbolic of the light of our consciousness shining more brightly in our awareness as if God would want to remind us that far too many of His gifts are not appreciated enough, but simply taken for granted.

You were God’s gift to many of us, Charlie, and certainly you were a God’ gift to me, especially this past year.I will never know why He decided to take you Home on this Midsummer Day. It could be just coincidence and yet it could be not. So I am not speaking to your other friends here, but to you only, because only you and I know how close we were, what a special friendship we shared. Did I take you too much for granted, Charlie? Did I subconsciously think that nothing bad could possibly happen to you, that you would be always there for me? As far as I know I am the only one who knew how sick you were, how badly you felt. I did try to make you see the doctor, but should I have insisted more? I know I should, and no one can convince me the other way. You would have objected, tried to calm me down, but knowing me so well how persistent I can be, in the end you would give up, if only to get rid of my pressing on you. But when you told me you were already feeling better I was relieved and I simply chose to believe you. I thought what could possibly happen to you, you were a nurse, you knew better, besides nowadays people don’t die just because of heartburn and indigestion, at least I thought this was what it was about. Chest pains? Why didn’t I connect them with alarming heart failure symptoms? After you told me a few weeks earlier your brother had suffered heart-attack and how happy you were he was saved. Then I got another mail from you and saw you were already laughing using those lololol’s and talking about games, so I decided to give you some time and to check on you later.

But there was no time left, was it Charlie? A day after you died from heart attack. So perhaps I did take you for granted. I know you would want me to stop blaming myself, I can hear your words - it was meant so and neither of us could have changed anything. It was God’s will. If it was God’s will, then why, why now. Why so sudden, why, when we finally succeeded in getting rid of your emotional baggage, when we chased most of your doubts and fears away. Why now, when you were ready to make it up with anyone you might have unintentionally hurt. You proved you were capable to overcome anger, frustration, and eventual complex, you showed you were ready to forgive, you were ready to forget. And I was so proud of you, and I still am.


Those who didn’t know you well may ask what was so special about you. I can’t speak in the name of others; I can only speak for myself. It was your gentle mind, your huge golden heart, your genuine despair over the loss of your doggie, your compassion, your warmth, your selflessness, your eagerness to help everyone who went through similar experience, it was your beautiful, comforting words, spoken and written, it was that innocent child hidden in your sub-consciousness. Feeling betrayed you found a new home on RB site, you found a new family, family that loved you, respected you, understood you, and needed you. Oh, we needed you, Charlie, we truly needed you, each of us felt you understood so well what we were going through, you were the one who lifted us out of abyss of sorrow and darkness, who filled our void with comforting words, who offered us solace when yourself needed it the most. Because many of us have our families, our human kids, we just feared our pain over the loss of a beloved pet would be diminished in their eyes, ignored, not properly understood. Caleb and you lived alone, in your own little private world, he taught you so much about love, he cherished you in his loyal canine way, he recognized all your values humans may have overlooked, he was your life. With Caleb you were given a priceless gift but after eight short years this gift was taken from you. And the world around you became bare again, you felt cursed, you wanted to die.

I believe that through Caleb God finally felt your indescribable sorrow and that it was why he sent you Jasper. It was hard at first, you were terrified you might get
attached and then robbed again, but as we later found out you were simply afraid to love – again. Well it didn’t take long for Jasper to prove you how wrong you were. You loved him the same as you loved Caleb only in different way. We never ever replace our babies, each one is unique in his special way.

Charlie, everyone who was blessed with your friendship recognized your values, moral and ethics. Each single person loved you, respected you, we all found you very special, an earth angel sent to us by God. I told you that many times but you were too modest, I could feel you even got embarrassed, but I do hope that deep inside you knew I was talking the truth.

Every day, somebody loses someone they deeply care about. I am no stranger to death, I have lost many people dear to my heart and most painful of all, I have lost my greatest love, my dog, my Puck. I really thought nothing could affect me deeply anymore. But I was wrong. When I heard the sad news that you passed away, I felt like a light had just gone out of my life. I sat in stunned silence for a very long time,I was completely overwhelmed and in shock. To this hour I still can’t believe you are gone. I still expect chat window would pop up any minute and you would scare me with your Boooo!!! And I would scold you pretending to be angry and then we would laugh and laugh and talk, sometimes for hours. There was not a topic that we wouldn’t touch, you and I were both eager for more knowledge, we both wanted to broaden our minds.

Oh how I will miss these talks, how I will miss sharing sweet memories of Caleb and Puck, how I will miss you being always there for me, always sensing when I was completely down when dealing with another animal abuse, how I will miss your wonderful stories, your poems, your inspiration.
I will miss even our arguments though lately there were almost none, we didn’t need to fight anymore, we had already said what we felt should be said. Besides we knew each other so well. You liked to joke that I knew you more than you knew yourself and in a way it was true.

Tomorrow this time it will be two weeks since we last talked in chat. How could we know there was someone already hiding and praying in the dark, a black monster waiting to strike, to take you away from your family, your friends, from me and what you feared most, from Jasper.


For now I still refuse to think you are gone. When I am in dilemma or when I don’t understand something I immediately think –I must tell this Charlie, he will love it, or I must ask Charlie, he will explain.


Someone once said "when you are born you enter the world crying while everyone else is rejoicing and when you die hopefully you have lived such a life that everyone will be crying while you are rejoicing”. You, Charlie lived such life. You,your mother and all our babies in heaven are rejoicing and we here are all crying.

Charlie, many say Caleb was standing right there, hardly waiting to see his Daddy again. But they forget there was someone else at the end of the tunnel too. And when she saw her beloved son coming, she opened her arms and said – Come, you are home now, we have all the time for ourselves only.

These are not my farewell words to you, Charlie. I just wanted to tell you how you graced my life. There is an empty spot that no one can fill. It belongs to you only.

You are terribly missed, my friend.

Charlie’s memorial page is Ginny’s gift to me and to all RB family. Everyone is welcome to visit him, share his memories, pay him respect. I only ask you not to make comments on the first part of my tribute. It is between Charlie and me only.

May God bless you all.


/21/2010

Today a month has passed since you departed headed for unknown. Your life was cut short when you still had so many hopes and dreams, when you were still looking for so many answers. Then just in a minute all your hopes were lost, all your dreams shattered, so many wishes unfulfilled. For me it is still too early to live with memories, each moment without your friendships drags on into infinity. Where are you now my friend? Do you fly with the eagles and soar on the wind like you told me you always wished. So in my mind I see you somewhere beyond the mountains, high above the skies, where your favourite bird soars free, where sunshine fills your every moment and where there are no tomorrows, where pain and sorrow cease. Spread your wings, Charlie, and soar, fly and see the world through eagle’s eye and I may feel better imagining your wondrous sprit circling above us all, a symbol of remembrance, a symbol of our continuing guiding light. And one day when I look up to the sky I might get a chance to say to you goodbye, but not now, not yet. Miss you, my dear dear friend:)

11/10/1954 - 11/10/2010


Happy birthday to you, Charlie


Happy birthday Charlie, your first one in heaven. On this special day I envision you in a perfect place, somewhere, where the horizon meets the sky, where no pain abides, in the world with no cruelty, no sorrow, no heartbreaks and no disguise. In your dreams you potrayed heaven as a paradise full of blooming trees, wateralls, singing birds and flowers in all their vibrant colours, where you and Caleb would stroll free, enjoying peaceful eternity, where the time stands still and where your life struggles become just a distant memory. Even though your time with us seems far too brief and the emptiness of your sudden passing is still there, I am happy for you, Charlie. Enjoy your peace, my friend, rest well by that pure river with its endless stream of life and never look back at this sorrowful world where evil is taking over, where there is no justice for the fallen and weak. I miss you and your wonderful friendship more than I can say.

11/10/2011
Every now and then we find a special person who touches us in a way not many ever have, who gives us reason for tears, who makes us smile and who reaches out each time we fall. You were such a person, Charlie and only after you have gone I realized how often we underestimate the power of a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. You gave all these to me and to so many of us. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, my friend. Where you are now no walls are needed anymore to protect you from your hidden fears, you are where deep inside you always wanted to be. Reunited with Caleb. A farewell was necessary before we can meet again. And meeting again is certain for those who are friends.
Happy happy birthday wherever you are now, dear Charlie!

 

Survived by:

Lelja, his friend, RB family and everyone who cared for him


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