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To Hear Your Voice Just Once More

by K C.........................................

I phoned you on that cool, fall night when you fell so critically ill. You could not speak into the phone you were just too sick to talk. I can't believe the last conversation just a few days before would be the last time I would ever hear your voice & that was the last conversation we could ever have. I went to the hospital shortly thereafter as you were rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. I never heard of an infection that could turn so bad so quickly. By the time the doctors had started treating you your organs were beginning to fail. I would not believe the doctors when they said you may not make it. I screamed No! You can't leave me you are my BEST friend please stay strong, Mom! You did fight as hard as you could for 2 1/2 weeks in that hospital bed in the critical care unit.Everyone who loved you was around you & we were praying day & night. I know you were so uncomfortable with all the life sustaining tubes & equipment on you. I know you were trying to talk to me but you couldn't with the breathing tube down your throat. You were so frustrated & didn't know what was happening to you. It was such a rollercoaster ride, one minute it seemed things were improving & the next thing you know there was a major setback. I know the doctors did everything they could to try to save you & you were suffering so much. It was like a nightmare. I will hold the images of your final days in my head forever. I have no idea how I got through the wake & funeral it all seemed so unreal. I still can't believe I will never see you or hear your voice again. So many times I have wanted to pick up the phone to call you to share some kind of news with you. I miss you beyond words. There is no one in the world I can share these kinds of things with...You were the one I thought to call first whenever anything happened.If I had one wish that could come true it would be to be with you while you were healthy one last time. I love you more than you will ever know.

Comments would be appreciated by the author, K C



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